Dear Smug Young Judgy People,

Today I brought my two kids to the cafeteria here on campus. You seemed offended. Suck it up. We live here, too.

When my youngest began screaming “Kek-kek!” over and over and weeping inconsolably because she wanted her piece of cake before she even ate a tiny bite of her food and I told her to first eat her beans, you looked at me as if I had just peed on the floor. Let me explain your two options:

1) I can give in and let her have the cake before her meal. It will solve the immediate problem. You can once again begin discussing philosophy, theology, and the Jersey Shore uninterrupted. But, if my child learns that she can scream and get anything she wants, she will become a spoiled, horrid brat. And someday you may run across this spoiled, horrid brat and she’ll be spoiled and horrid. And bratty.

2) I can pick her up and remove her from the situation until she calms down. Then, I can explain that she has to eat her food before she can have kek-kek. She will moderately calm down and she will learn obedience, discipline, and the necessity to eat more than just sugary yum-yum.

I chose the latter. Because I’m a good mom. And you’re a smug young punk who finds thirty-something moms like me hopelessly out of touch with the world and basically useless. May you remember today when you have a screaming kid in a public place.

And then may your kid stomp on your toe, bite your arm, and throw up everywhere.

Sincerely,

Angry mab

(Sigh. Well, I feel better now! Thanks for letting me vent. By the way, I am by no means calling all twenty-somethings smug or judgy. Nor am I really just referring to twenty-somethings, I guess. To all of the people who were kind, understanding, and supportive today: THANKS. To the rest of you….. Pbbbbttttt!)

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