You must go to Baskin Robbins tonight. You simply must. They’re giving out 31 cent scoops o’ yummy. Read the official details here. The quick version: Each person gets up to 3 scoops at 31 cents per scoop. So, I can get my usual 2, Ray Ray can go for 3, and Bean and Peanut can split one scoop. That would be $1.86 plus tax for our family. AND, the money goes to support families of firefighters who have died on duty. Delicious ice cream and giving to charity? Yeah! I’m in! And, it’s only $1.86!

If you are a family with two not-so-tiny kiddos, you can get them each their own scoop and it’s only $2.17. In fact, although I was an English major in college, I feel a little math formula coming on….

Assuming that…

Children under 1 wouldn’t have their own scoops (So, they are left out of this equation)

Children from 1 – 3 want .5 scoops (# of these kids is x)

Children from 3 – 8 want 1 scoop (# of these kids is y)

Children from 9 – 16 want 2 scoops (# of these kids is z)

Males from 17 – dead want 3 scoops (# of these peeps is q)

Females from 17 – dead usually want 3 scoops, but only get 2 scoops because they can mooch more off of their boyfriend/spouse/kids and the calories don’t count since the female herself didn’t order them (# of these ladies is h)

Then,

.5x + y + 2z + 3q + 2h = cost without tax.

Using my handy equation (which you math types are checking and then laughing at), I know that the typical American nuclear family with children in middle school would spend $2.79.

The Duggars, however, would have an equation that looks like this….

2x + 4y + 6z + 3q + 5h = $11.16

(I’m including the oldest son, his wife, and their infant daughter.)

Dudes, that’s 36 scoops of ice cream for the cost of 2 tubs of Blue Bell. I’m sold. I’ll be going to all of the BR locations around my city. Maybe I can get a total of 36 scoops for myself. Um, I mean, for the firefighters fund. Yeah, I would only ingest that many calories for the sake of charity…. yeah.

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