I’ve written about my friend Spider Woman before. She’s the type of friend who can knock on my door, walk in, head over to my chocolate stash, and start digging. Very few people know where my stash is. Even fewer are allowed to dig through it freely. We’re tight like that.
Spider Woman grew up in a regular town with a typical family. She wasn’t sheltered, hidden in a cave, raised by dogs, or kept behind the walls of a compound. So, when the following conversation happened, I was utterly in shock.
(mab looks up to see her holding up a Cadbury Creme Egg.)
mab: No, they’re the regular ones.
Spider Woman: Yeah, but what does that mean?
mab: (in surprise) You’ve never had a Creme Egg? What?
SW: Look, I know they’re a cross between a chicken and a bunny and whatever, but I don’t know what’s so special. Are they solid chocolate?
mab: (After she shuts her jaw that had dropped, blinks a few times, and shakes her head to restart her brain) You mean, you’ve never eaten one? Ever?
SW: No. Whatever. I’ll eat this Hershey’s Kiss.
I made her eat one. It was a mini, so she just popped it in her mouth. I had to unwrap one and bite it in half to show her the delightful fondant yolk and white on the inside. She giggled like a kid.
SW: Ohhh! That’s cute!
Are there really people in America who don’t know what a Cadbury Creme Egg is? Sigh. Spider Woman, this could be the cause of all of your problems. You know what I mean. Yeah, and that problem, too.