Who invented the biathlon? Was it some bored Scandinavian version of a redneck?
Sven: Hey Dag, I’m bored!
Dag: I’ve got my skis here, Sven. Wanna ski?
Sven: We always ski. I’ve got my gun here, Dag. Wanna shoot something?
Dag: Nah. We shoot stuff all the time.
Sven: Hey! I know! Let’s have a race!
Dag: But we race all the time. What about a shooting contest?
Sven: We do that all the time, too.
(There is a long pause as Dag and Sven take a long gulp of their Scandinavian beer and stare at the TV showing the Scandinavian version of football, which is much less exciting to them since the cheerleaders have to wear parkas over there.)
Sven: Dag. I’ve got an idea.
Dag: Sven, I already told you I didn’t want to ski or race. And you don’t want to shoot stuff or have a contest. What else could we do?
Sven: What if we ski and then shoot AT THE SAME TIME?!?!
Dag: (wiping tears from his eyes) Man, Sven, that’s brilliant. That’s the best thing I’ve ever thought of. Man…. that’s olympic.
And thusly, the Biathlon was born. These people ski around a track, stop and pull out their guns, and shoot. Fortunately, they have to load their guns when they arrive. So, they aren’t skiing around with loaded guns. Although, it would be far more exciting if they were. Or, if they had to shoot while actually skiing down the hills.
This has been mab’s opinion on the Winter Olympics. What other sports can you think of that are Olympic-worthy?