pirateBean is obsessed with pirates. Most 2 year old girls are infatuated with The Princesses or Barney or some other pink fluffy stuff. Not my kid. She’s into pirates. This started a few months ago when she went to storyland and saw Captain Hook’s boat. Now, she frequently runs through the house shrieking “PIRATES GET BEAN!” and jumping on the couch. She thinks this is hilarious. Instead of explaining that pirates will either steal your money, drink your rum, or make you walk the plank, we tell her that they’ll tickle her. (I mean, she’s 2. I don’t need the kid  to have nightmares and need expensive therapy, you know?)

This is the background you need to know to understand the following conversation.

Bean: Pirates get Bean! They coming!

mab: Where are they?

Bean: Outside. They come in. Sit on couch.

mab: What will they do?


mab: And they’ll sit on the couch?

Bean: Yes.

mab: What will we give them to drink when they come to visit?

Bean: Sippy cups. Juice. (She holds her sippy cup aloft in emphasis.)

mab: What will they eat?

Bean: (Yelling, with wild gestures) GIANT CIRCLE SNACK! BIG SNACK! CIRCLE!

At this point, the communication obviously broke down. I am still trying to figure out what — in Bean’s mind — is an appropriate snack for a pirate.