My hub is gone on a business trip. He’s there with a male co-worker, who happens to be our neighbor. These two family men who have daughters are away from their wives. Since they’re out of town, they have to eat out at restaurants. Tonight, this might be tricky and give a false impression. I mean, what two buddies decide to go out to eat together on Valentine’s Day?

So, here’s the rules I gave them to avoid confusing people around them:

1) Both of you can’t order salad. You can have a side salad, but two straight men would never eat together on Valentine’s Day and have salads for an entree.

2) Never make eye-contact.

3) The only acceptable topics of conversation: sports, beer, and babes. I don’t care that you aren’t beer drinkers. You have to stick to these topics. (Perhaps they can discuss root beer instead….)

4) Only choose a restaurant with garish florescent lights. Any dim lighting is out unless the only glow lighting your plate comes from a neon beer sign.

5) Absolutely do not split a dessert. Get your own. Or skip it and sit there scratching yourself instead.

These are just a few suggestions to avoid confusion. My apologies for blatantly and tackily using stereotypes. But, I gotta make sure everyone knows my man is my man and no man can try to take him.