That’s right. NC-17. Why? Since the beginning of The mab Blab, I have said

crap 29 times

pain 14 times

hurt 13 times

death 11 times

shoot 7 times

steal 6 times

dead 5 times

dangerous 3 times

suicide 2 times

and corpse once.

Man, that’s depressing! It makes me sound like a real nutcase! However, let’s put it in context: Since the beginning of this blog I’ve had laproscopic surgery, thyroid troubles, a kidney stone, labor, and then a C-section. That explains all of the owie words.

The presence of steal doesn’t surprise me — I’ve talked about the Communists that are out to get me and who steal my stuff quite often. As for suicide, here’s one post that lists that word. Here’s the other.

Death? Well, that word is used in sentences such as the following:
“Fans are death traps.”
Also, the death of all sea life would end the career of Jaques Cousteau as well as all forms of Cajun cookin’ as we know it.

In addition to these two, the post on the circus accounted for 6 of the times I said death. Then there’s some references to the death and resurrection of Christ. While not all innocuous, none of these instances are worrying or cause for alarm for anyone.

My tendency to hyperbolate definitely covers the other words. That leaves me with only one mystery — How on earth did I say crap only 29 times?!? I guess I’m better at this self-control thing than I thought.

So, lock up your kids and turn on the Focus on the Family filter. The mab Blab has officially (according to some random rating system) without nudity, gratuitous violence, frequent droppings of the f-bomb, or salacious scenes that would make Belle Watling blush been declared NC-17.

Interestingly enough, I tested out one blog I occasionally lurk on. This guy has some fun stuff to say, but he unfortunately uses language I choose not to say. (That’s right B, I choose not to say it.) He had 3 words on his front page that were definitely not nice and he only got a R rating. What the heck?

Oh dang it, I just said heck. And dang. Man, I’d better be careful or the FCC will shut me down. Maybe this rating blog is run by the Communists. That would explain why they’re trying to bring me down with their plots against me. To end this blog, I will write a paragraph designed to bring my rating back into the family-friendly stratosphere.

Two fluffy puppies went on a walk in the happy, sunny field. One picked a daisy and gave it to the other. “You’re my best friend, Happy Puppy!” Sugar Puppy said. “Oh, you’re soooooo sweet!” replied Happy Puppy. They danced and frolicked through the flowers while birds twittered in the trees above them. The world turned to rainbows and cotton candy and all of the not-so-nice people in the world looked at the two fluffy puppies and their hearts were melted and they became wonderful people who shared their brownies and baked pies! In fact, the whole world was also made of pie! “Oh, Happy Puppy, I’m so happy!” said Sugar Puppy. “Yes, Sugar Puppy, the world is so perfect that we should sing forever!” replied Happy Puppy. So they did. The End.

(Man, I am so full of crap. Dang it! There’s another point against me.)