My Mama sent me a box this week. In it was a bounty of treasure, including a package of Oreos. I really like Oreos. They were something that I undervalued in my life before moving to this Oreoless land. My favorite way to eat Oreos is to take the cookie apart, lick the creme, and then suck on the cookie. Gross, I know. That’s why I only do this in private. So, when we opened this bag and I took out my first scrumptious Oreo, I was puzzled. The cookie didn’t deliciously dissolve in my mouth like before. Then, I looked. It’s decidedly thinner. There’s definitely someone out there who’s been messing with the Oreo recipe. The creme is the same, so most people won’t notice that they seem to be skimping on the cookie.

The hub told me that I was imagining things. He said that funny things happen to food when it’s flown at high altitudes over the ocean. Part of me wants to believe him, to believe that it’s a simple result of being in an airplane cargo hold. I also want to believe that I am simply Oreo-deprived and therefore am not fit to monitor consistency and quality. However, I think this makes me more qualified. I don’t gobble Oreos, I savor them. I treat them as treats of the highest level. Each Oreo is rationed out so that the bag lasts as long as possible without going stale. As I eat the Oreo, I sit and close my eyes, tuning out all other distractions. So, I should know when the cookie has changed. Oh, yes, I should know.

Now I’m wondering who is behind this conspiracy. Is it the communists? Is it the Man trying to bring us all down? Is it Nabisco, trying to cut corners in production and undermine the very fabric of America? These are the questions on my mind as I reach for another Oreo and savor it’s goodness….

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