There’s a conspiracy out there. Someone’s out to get me. When we arrived back here, I remember seeing my sewing kit and putting it away before our Spring Break guests arrived. Now I can’t find it anywhere. I can’t remember where we put it away. I’ve searched the house two or three times. The hub has searched. Our cleaning lady has searched. I can only conclude one thing: It has been stolen as a part of some complicated plot against me.

My theory was further substantiated by another fact: All of my clothes and even some of my dishtowels are starting to tear. Some of these clothes are even brand new. I’m finding tiny holes and tears and ripped seams everywhere. But, can I do anything about it? No….. because my sewing kit has been taken.

I am led to believe that textile workers in some former Communist-bloc country are opposed to the clothing and fabric choices I have recently made. To make up for it, they are coming in my house and making tiny rips in my clothes. Then, they hide the only means I have of repairing them.

Oh, and the hub is missing a button off of the pocket of one of his pairs of pants. They won’t even leave him alone!

Completely unrelated, I’ve been reading more of What to Expect When You’re Expecting lately. They keep talking about pregnant women tending to be absent-minded and forgetful. Or maybe I read that in my other pregnancy book….  I cna’t remember. Either way, I’m not sure I see evidence of that anywhere in my life. It’s not like I’m forgetting dinner in the oven,  not remembering to do simple tasks that the hub or my friends ask me to do, or putting items away and not being able to find them again later.  I think that book is just trying to make me paranoid.

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